Rodney’s Thoughts on My Posing Naked

For those of you who wonder how to take revealing pictures of oneself on a horse. [Challenge]

Have your horses at home. Have a pasture surrounded by dense foliage and fields. Hope none of your neighbors are hunting that day. Wear easily removable clothing – less time to undress equals less time to stress. Have a steady, reliable horse who won’t get upset at new circumstances.

Oh wait, we don’t have one of those.

Day 1: Cognitive Dissonance
Activity! Nerves! Stress! None of it directed at me!

Rodney did not know what to make of the photo shoot. We asked him to stand. He knows couch. He stood like a champ. All four legs solidly locked in park. From the shoulders back, he was a statue.

Rodney is a sensitive horse, particularly to any signs of anxiety in his vicinity. There was a certain level of anxiety in his vicinity. More so on the first day. From the shoulders forward, he was a mess: ducking his neck, pinning his ears, grinding his teeth. After a while, we called it a day. He was on overload. Composing himself afterward required generous pats and a liberal application of green grass.

rather helmet Rodney

Day 2: Happy Horse
I stand. They do weird sh*t. Got it.

Rodney was much more relaxed the next day. Too relaxed. He has a tendency to let it all hang out [Doctor Whooves]. His happy meter does not droop. It is set to ‘Wah-hoo, bring on the mares’. This turned the photos from tasteful to trashy.

[Photo withheld due to shortage of brain bleach.]

The Naked Challenge & My Thoughts On Posing Naked on Rodney’s Saga
Will You Take #TheNakedChallenge? on Horse Collaborative
The Naked Challenge on Facebook

My Thoughts On Posing Naked

Will You Take #TheNakedChallenge? on Horse Collaborative
The Naked Challenge on Facebook

I took the challenge [The Naked Challenge]. How did it go?

rather helmet partial

+ Husband/photographer immediately doubled down. If we were doing this, then we were doing it right: a) I had to be riding & b) it had to be clear I was buck-naked. No possibility of hiding a tank top and bikini bottoms. Eeep.

+ I’m wearing a helmet, I must be dressed. I’m wearing a helmet, I must be dressed. I’m wearing a helmet …

+ Breezes in unexpected places.

+ It’s good to get outside of my comfort zone.

+ It’s exhausting to get outside of my comfort zone.

+ Composing myself afterward required a liberal application of cupcake.

+ I know my friends will be amused &/or supportive. What about acquaintances? Will they be appalled? Amused? Will there be repercussions?

+ I can’t BELIEVE I’m doing this.

rather helmet partial feet

Meanwhile Back at the Ranch. Or Not

It’s been two months since I wrote about Rodney, Milton, and the happenings at home [Summer Suffering]. Within that time period, I have posted on four saddleseat shows, many lessons, and endless saddle seat theory.

What’s up with that?

IF we ignore the screamy voices in my head and IF we ignore that fact the American Eventing Championships will be happening without me again this year, all is well.

They are gorgeous horses. I never tire of watching them: eating, napping, or running around the field like idiots.

Work is moving forward. Slowly, but forward.

Rodney & I are going for walks when the ground crew is around. We have gone back to first principles. Greg leads. I sit aboard. Rodney sorts out how to deal with rider weight. We have done enough body work that he has to relearn to use his back. Sans saddle for now, as the right point of a saddle impacts directly on his injured area. [Daddy Dearest, Piling on the Therapy, The Latest Magic Goo] The rest of the week is easy groundwork exercises to give him successes.

I still want a cowboy to get on Milton first. That requires a truck to get him to Stepping Stone, in order to have an enclosed space, and a saddle to use once we get there. Have saddle [New Equipment]. Finally. As for truck, inertia seems to be winning that battle. Otherwise, lunging & long-lining. Seeing who he is & identifying the body kinks left over from the track. I don’t think the track is a happy place for horses, at least not for ones who don’t run fast.

Quiet progress is the order of the day. Dear Diary: Rode Rodney. Hysteria failed to occur. Dear Diary: Lunged Milton. Hysteria. Over quickly. Exciting if one is the owner of the horse. Not the stuff of gripping narrative if one is the reader of the blog.

On the other hand, saddle seat shows are discrete, self-contained events. They have a beginning, middle, and end. Cause and effect. More obvious results that are easier to write about. In my saddle seat lessons, I am walking & trotting & cantering. More activity gives me more theory to ponder. Overall, saddle seat is new. Retraining an OTTB is not. New is more interesting. This is why a croque-monsieur tastes better than a grilled ham & cheese sandwich. Unless one lives in France, then vice-versa.

Blog and reality. Parallel but not identical.
~~~
Gratuitous Cat Pic, as promised [Why]

Percy Reason car March 11 2015 II

Referral Saturday: Snark-o-licious

Did you miss the Pan Am Games? Attend and want to remember? Now you can get the best bits in one handy format at Ten Things About the Toronto Pan Am Games on Writing From the Right Side of the Stall.

Blog author Karen Briggs is a brilliant writer & hysterically snarky, “How a stylized porcupine in a baseball cap came to be the mascot of the Toronto Pan Am Games is another one of those inexplicable Dafuq? decisions.”

She is not afraid to give the Canadian point of view, “The American brand of patriotism can be a little oppressive, to be sure, but you have to admire their enthusiasm.” 

Unfortunately, blogging does not put feed in the buckets nor food on the table. She does not post as frequently as her fan club demands. Head over. Binge read her archives. Maybe we can convince her to amuse us more often.

Full disclosure: Karen is both a personal friend and a friend to the blog. We share the requisite stories about late-night escapades and the discretion not to tell them.

PanAm Games posts on WFtRSotS
Ten Things About the Toronto Pan Am Games
2015 Toronto Pan Am Games: Dressage
2015 Toronto Pan Am Games: Eventing

WFtRSotS on RS
Guest Post by Karen Briggs: The Oily Truth
Tiger Whistle
Mail-Order Horse

RS on WFtRSotS
No Witnesses
Foto Friday: A Short Tribute to Amy Tryon

Previous Referral Saturday
Adieu