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Letter Art: E is for Eventing

2016 letter E

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Off Topic: That Awkward Moment

That awkward moment when you are alone in the pool and the sweet young thing who swims well enough to be a lifeguard has nothing to do but watch your discoordinated flounderings.

That awkward moment when you realized that not only does your mother-in-law buy your husband’s clothes, she buy most of yours as well.

That awkward moment when you are amazed at the advanced age of someone in your college alumni bulletin only to realize they are in your class.

That awkward moment when you are taking a lesson that involves moving around the dance floor, riding arena, teaching space, you pass by your instructor talking to onlookers, you hear your name and then you move out of earshot before finding out the rest.

That awkward moment when you realize that you forgot to check the paper situation before you sat down.

That awkward moment when you are greeted by the entire staff of a small restaurant and you attempt to convince your dining partner, ‘No, really, I don’t come here that often.’

That awkward moment when you are taking a lesson that involves moving around the dance floor, riding arena, teaching space and you look over to see your husband and your instructor laughing together.

That awkward moment when you hear a noise and realize that the cat and the dog are in the room with you.

That awkward moment when you are watching your boyfriend do a long pan to check out a woman walking by the car, then he whips his head back toward the passenger seat to see if you noticed, and you are looking directly at him.

That awkward moment when you realize you pressed Reply instead of Forward.
~~~
Gratuitous Soothing Moment

sunset Jan 10 2016

~~~
OT 4.21.14 edited

Weekend Reports: The Physiology of Nerves

On the way to Saturday’s show [Report], my medical advisor dosed me with 200mg of caffeine, the equivalent of more than five 12-ounce Cokes (35mg each). Those who know me IRL are saying, “Why? For the love of all that is holy, WHY?!” I can be … perky. I am not an obvious candidate for a stimulant.

In stressful situations, the standard response is an activation of the sympathetic nervous system [Wiki], otherwise known as fight-or-flight. The opposite is an activation of the parasympathetic nervous system [Wiki], otherwise known as rest-and-digest. Part of the parasympathetic nervous system is a vasovagel response [Wiki, Mayo Clinic]. This is the process that can cause one to faint when giving blood (done this) or have a systemic response to a minor injury (this too).

His theory was that my show nerves are the latter rather than the former. We already know that I vagel out in other situations. The idea was to see if straight caffeine would keep me from crumbling at a show.

It worked. My stomach stopped hurting. I stopped trying to nap in the car. I didn’t feel quite so awful getting ready for my classes. He’s not denying the mental side of the game [Report], but feels that getting the body tuned can’t hurt. As a surgeon, he takes a mechanistic approach to health.

This would explain why exhorting myself to calm down wasn’t working. This would also explain my obsession with the little red can [Motivation], when I have no other strong food behaviors.

It didn’t work as well for the Horsemanship Challenge on Sunday [Report]. First, I fiddled with taking several lower doses over time. Second, there was not enough caffeine in the world to make me happy about hopping on strange horses.

Weekend Reports: The Psychology of Nerves

Much less nervous, particularly at the show on Saturday [Report]. Oh, I still have butterflies. However, I have gone back to a sustainable population of the native species: gray bodies with long silver antennae and wings of Inner Princess pink. On one wing is written “Nerves”; on the other, “Excitement.” I let the invasive species takeover for way too long.

I’m not the average saddle seat rider …
Most Academy riders are not as intense about riding as I am. Last year, I showed more than most of our suit riders.

I am new to saddle seat but not new to riding. I am an adult in an introductory division, but am not a beginner nor a rerider. I did not take a break from riding to have a career/raise kids/join the Peace Corps. I’ve been here all along, plugging away. I don’t fit into the standard narratives.

I am an AOT (amateur-owner trainer), this in not common in my corner of the saddle seat world (although, I hear it is more common elsewhere). While I don’t have Saddlebreds, I am familiar with the struggles of attempting progress outside of professional supervision: riding on my own, preparing my horses, arranging lessons, picking shows. It gives me a different outlook. And throws me off when this is all done for me.

… trying to make myself one …
It takes a great deal of self-belief when everyone else is over there & you are over here. More self-belief than I often have. There was not any particular activity, lesson, or show that I should have done or not done. It was more a matter of trying to make myself feel a certain way, or to have a certain outlook.

The desire to fit in is not necessarily bad. It is how we learn the unspoken mores of group. Plus social acceptance = a share of the mammoth and a place by the fire.

The desire to fit in can be bad – or at least not helpful – when it masks a desire to be loved. Rodney is not the only one in the barn with a bottomless need for approval & attention.

Nota Bene: All of this Sturm und Drang has been internally imposed. Folks have been happy to accept me as I am. Take helmets as an example. I said: I’m wearing one. Universal saddle seat response: Okay [Postscript].

… was making me nuts.
Self evident. This was the theory that came out of my last sports psych appointment [And So We Leave Behind the Sports Psychology Adventure].

Bottom Line
Be myself. I suck at being anyone else.
~~~
Tomorrow, the other half of the mind/body equation.

Weekend Reports: Show

Saddle Seat Wednesday

Winter Tournament 2015/2016 #3
Hosted by Winsalot Stables
Arab City Park
Saturday, February 27, 2016

Riding Results
4/10. 4/9. 5/6. Pastel ribbons in large (for us) classes. Not unpleased. Sam did not like the mud, ring, phase of the moon.

Riding Lessons
After you use an aid, put it away.
Comment from ringside: Ease up on your reins.
Me: Oh, hell no.
CfR: It takes two to pull.
Me: He started it.
CfR: Bump and let go. (Also know as squeeze and release in the dressage world.)

Pleasure does not equal pleasant.
During the break between my second and third classes, Greg rubbed on Sam’s neck. Sam gradually got over himself. We had a nice pleasant class. However, a saddle seat pleasure class does not mean fun to ride. Saddle Seat Pleasure is Fun! To! Ride! I need to rock on down the road rather than ease on down the road.

Driving Results
Instead of a standard driving class with two carts circling the ring, we staged an impromptu Combined Driving demo. We brought the cones, balls & measuring stick; set up the figure-eight course we had practiced; then took turns driving. Alvin was a star.

Ended [Show Report MSSP 2016, No More Magic Bullets]Greg won. We left it up to the judge to decide based on faults or on style. Greg had fewer faults and better lines. I remembered to put my hands up and look pretty, occasionally.

Driving Lesson
Same cones + same course + new ring = totally different feel.
~~~
Thank you to Julie Wamble & Courtney Huguley for their wonderful horses.

~~~
Update. Show may have been casualty of caffeine experiment. [Show Report MSSP 2016, No More Magic Bullets, Archives]

Weekend Reports: Horsemanship Challenge

ASHAA Horsemanship Challenge
Heathermoor Farm
Leeds, AL
February 28, 2016

SHORT VERSION
Did what I set out to do [Motivation]. Rode two horses. Established a baseline for next year.

LONG VERSION
First Round: Annie
I managed to throughly annoy a very nice beginner horse. Annie has a thing about whips. One does not carry a whip on Annie. Instead I was given advice on how to keep her going. Well. Years of jumping position has given me a lower leg that Saddlebreds do not usually experience. By the second canter, she was saying, ‘Okay, okay, STOP YELLING!’ I thought she may have given a little back end hop as punctuation. My ground crew says she didn’t, but was definitely heading in that direction. We have it on good authority that Annie does not buck.

Second Round: Elvis-The-Other
When I drew for my second ride, the card said Elvis. I was supposed to ride a cute little Morgan from barn X. Instead, I located a different horse of the same name from barn Y. Other Elvis was milling and kicking and aggravating the child tasked with holding him. He didn’t look neurotic as much as annoyed.

Getting 40 or so riders on strange horses for two (or three) rounds meant 100+ instances of Where is So-and-So? I got the wrong horse mainly because I was confused. However, part of me rolled with the change. Cute Elvis would not have been as much a test of my ability to ride a new horse.

Other Elvis and I never achieved sympatico. I could never figure out what he wanted me to do with my hands: hold? give? top rein? bottom rein? both? neither? For a few steps, I’m fairly sure I was cantering in two-point.

Results
I did not make the final round. Perhaps if I had ridden the pleasant pony, I might have. OTOH, only 12 out of 27 WTC riders made the third round. Most of those 12 were names I recognized as suit riders. I ended up in a 5-way tie in the high teens.

LESSONS
My saddle seat riding comes in three levels.
Surviving. Getting the horse from point A to point B. Achieving three gaits and arriving at the line-up. This I can generally do. It may not always look pretty. The more trouble I have, the less pretty it looks. Other Elvis and I spent a lot of time here.

Sustaining. Maintaining an effective position on an agreeable horse. This is the level expected at Academy.

Succeeding. Influencing the horse. Asking for more. More speed. More containment. More verve. I was able to ask Annie for one or two zippy trot passes. She didn’t necessarily give them, but at least I asked. Collecting the horse into the slow, little teacup canter is easier for me than containing the trot. The ideal show trot has form and speed.

It doesn’t matter what you do. What matters is how the judge interprets what you do.
After the show, the judge was kind enough to critique my rides. In the first round, she liked how I took risks and put Annie out there. Nod from me. Then she evaluated my plan with Elvis. Trouble was, I never had a plan with Elvis. She said that after a bobble, I faded to the rail and hid from her. I needed to get back out and recapture her attention. Huh? Hiding? I was happy to be at the correct gait in the correct direction. Where we were in the ring was an accident of geography. She was crediting me with far more intentionality than I possessed.

I wasn’t wrong.
Someday, maybe, I will trust myself. I had a reason to be extra nervous, given my internal wiring.

I don’t like riding new horses. Never have. But part of Sunday’s meltdown (yes, there was a meltdown, albeit a small one) was apprehension about riding a new Saddlebred. I do not – yet – truly understand what makes a Saddlebred go. Without this, I feel lost, which undermines my confidence.

When comfortable with a horse, I can put my hands up and look the part. If the planets are in alignment and the horse is feeling generous, I can get a few suit-quality steps of engagement from the hind end. When the wheels come off, all of that goes out the window. I am not solid enough in my convictions to enforce proper Saddlebred-style behavior.

I need to ride from a position of solid understanding and strength. I need to be over-prepared. If I’m jumping X height in a show, I warm up at that height, or a hole higher. I need to feel that I know, deep down, what is going on. If I have that, I can be bulletproof.

Something to work on.
~~~
Thank you to Rocking S Farm, Heathermoor Farm, and Harris Riding Academy for providing horses: the ones I rode and the one I didn’t.
~~~
Photo notes: Smile from OpenClipArt. I didn’t have the identity of the other rider, and therefore could not ask for her (or perhaps her parents) permission to use. Paranoid? Moi? Photo by Greg. Included as a service to the reader [Lights, Camera, Canter]. All I can see are my potbelly & rounded shoulders. Ick.

~~~
Update. Show may have been casualty of caffeine experiment. [Show Report MSSP 2016, No More Magic Bullets, Archives]