Art of the outside world. Geek Tyrant: An A.I. Program Was Fed 1,000 Hours of Hallmark Christmas Movies and Then It Wrote an Insane Script, Paur, 3 years ago.
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Still working to deconstruct the Holiday Movie trope. [Gift Guide intro, Cue Cheesy Music]
Woman lives in The City. Fabulous job. Fabulous apartment. Comes from Small Town. Rest of family still lives in Small Town. Doesn’t understand why heroine wants to live in The City,
Son of friend of parents needs to come to The City for significant plot reasons. He, of course, has a cover-model face and admirably fills out his flannel shirt and jeans. He hates The City. Says it’s dirty, crowded, and expensive. Plus his dog has nowhere to run.
Heroine agrees to let him stay in her guest room as favor to her parents because you know how expensive The City is. It was easier than listening to the litany.
He is a jerk to her friends. Rude about living in The City. Intolerant of at least one friend due to gender and/or racial issues. She points out to friends this is why she left Small Town.
Dog comes around first. Turns out he loves the attention of going for daily walks & jogs with hero rather than running around on his own. Loves the urban park and the park dog runs.
Hero enjoys all the gorgeous women he sees while he is walking the dog, because of course the extras are as beautiful as the main characters. For narrative balance, not all the points he makes about The City are wrong. For example, how do you meet these gorgeous women? Heroine admits that she has been as alone in city as she ever was sitting in the middle of a field. Lonely in a crowd is cliche but true.
Significant plot reasons require hero to put on a suit. He says he feels stupid, but checks himself out in the mirror. Does the 007 gun draw, pulling off the hot but playful look.
Hero is a singer in church on Sundays. Sees no point in coming to City for live performances when a top-flight stereo system is as good as being there. Until heroine takes him to see Famous Singer live in flawlessly designed concert space. Is gobsmacked.
Ditto food. Both restaurants to eat at and ingredients available to cook with, because of course he is an outstanding chef. Makes thank you dinner for heroine. They bond.
Somewhere in here, hero learns Valuable Lessons about misjudging people. There is a crisis with his dog. The friend he was rude to is the one who steps up to help. “I don’t like you, but that’s not your dog’s fault.”
Another of the heroine’s friends is a musician in the Wrong Kind of music. Hero scoffs. Then hero learns that friend was classically trained at famous conservatory. Plays several instruments. Sings better than hero does. Hero is, if not humbled, at least taken aback. Starts taking friend’s recommendation for clubs to hear up&coming singers. They have a night out together. They bond.
Gradually hero becomes becomes enchanted with big city values. Intellectual curiosity. Global viewpoints. Relentless energy. Meringue shops that are open late.
He starts to see the upsides of City living. Crowds are not always a bad thing.
“I’m not Betty’s son everywhere I go.”
“I don’t run into my middle school teacher when I’m on a date.”
He finds out that City dwellers will pay stupid money for custom woodwork. Keeps flannel wardrobe as shtick for his burgeoning carpentry business, Country Boy in The City.
Wait. This is supposed to be a holiday movie. Wildly decorated shop windows. Ice-skating in the park. Pop-up holiday market. Holiday foods and traditions from other countries. The City brings the sparkle. Final scene under big illuminated tree.
Kiss and fade out.
~~~ curtain ~~~
Virtual Brush Box 