That Noise Is Me Stomping My Feet


Awareness of the outside world. Gerrymandering backfires. Eventually. “Gaming the system sets up a structural problem for democracy, of course, but also for the party in power … they become so extreme they lose even members of their own party.” HCR: November 9, 2022

“In that year (1884) the Republican Party had become so extremist that many of its members, disparagingly called “Mugwumps” by party loyalists, jumped ship to vote for a reformer, Democrat Grover Cleveland. It was a chaotic and consequential election, for it showed those Republicans who stayed with the party that they must moderate their stances or become a permanent minority. HCR: November 8, 2022


I have let annoyance get the better of me.

Silver Lining fun show. Home horses said no. I hadn’t ridden in enough lessons to show a school horse. So, went down to help out.

The show was nicely organized. They would have been fine without me.

Still, a show can always use an extra hand. I’ve run enough horse shows to be able to tell where a hand is needed. Leadline. Horse holding. In gate. Jump crew.

I’ve said this before. [Shadows]

I bring it up again because working at the show caused me to have thoughts. Being able to step in where needed reminded me that I am actually good at this horse stuff. It also made me realize that I am tired.

I’m tired of messing around over crossrails.

I’m tired of beginner classes.

I’m tired of other people’s horses.

Just want to ride my horse. Why is this so hard?

I realize my own choices got me here. Doesn’t mean I have to like it.

It’s one thing if you have a young horse, or are getting acquainted with a new horse. I don’t and I’m not.

I want to go places and do things. I want to ride at the Kentucky Horse Park. I want to have stellar cross-country rounds. I want to ride side-saddle again. I want to lay down fast jump-offs. I want to go on trail rides. Truthfully, I harbor holodeck fantasies of winning everything in sight, but going places and doing things would be a good first step.

I feel like an an actor who wants to be in movies but only gets offered home shopping commercials. Truthfully, I want to star on Broadway, but I’d be happy with a supporting role in a sitcom.

I’ll get over myself in a bit. Just having a moment over here.


8 thoughts on “That Noise Is Me Stomping My Feet

    1. Ah, I often also feel stiffled in my horse ambitions. So much I want to do and so much I am not doing (for various reasons). It can be super frustrating and demoralizing sometimes. I can definitely relate.

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