
A while back, I came close to flashing the postmaster.
Our land is surrounded by field and forest. The neighbors are close enough that I call for help in a crisis but screened enough that I can do the occasional Lady Godiva to the clothesline. Therefore, not all of my barn clothes are fit for public consumption. I had one pair of jeans that had gone through the seat in a comprehensive manner. The rest of the pants, particularly the pockets, still worked so I kept wearing them.

One day I realized I needed to get to the post office that morning. Pick up a package? Mail the water bill? Don’t remember. History does not record. What I do remember is jumping out of the truck, taking one step, and thinking, ‘Huh? Oops!’.
It was bad. The wardrobe malfunction – is it a malfunction if you knew it when you put on the clothes? Wardrobe mismatch maybe? – was severe enough that I would need to go home and try again if I didn’t have a solution. I untucked my shirt. Not long enough. I unearthed a ratty jacket. Despite being well into warm weather, I wrapped the jacket around my waist and sauntered forth.
I think I threw those jeans away shortly after. I’ve already scared my UPS driver enough, but that’s a story for another day.
Process notes
This post started out as a comment. Cur Tales wrote a post about wearing “clothing that’s seen better days.” I gave a short comment. (BTW, her response is worth reading.) Then I realized this would make a cute post. I didn’t have any other ideas and it was at least barn-related. I was pretty sure that I had mentioned the story on Facebook at the time. To save myself the trouble of retelling, I went back through my personal Facebook timeline. Not too hard, I don’t post all that often. Plus the post would have been in the time period after joining Facebook but before the daily blog, a period of about year and a half. I searched. I crashed my iPad several times. I searched more. I finally gave up. As a result, I spent far longer searching than it took to type the above. There’s a life lesson lurking in there somewhere.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Gratuitous Cat Picture




