Three Reasons I Suck At Equitation

1) I think I still ride the way I did as a 20-something.

I used to be good at equitation. Or at least I used to look good enough that I could waffle about for the level at which I showed. If one wants to win Big Eq in any discipline, one had better be more than a pretty face. I wasn’t at those levels. I was young and thin and sat a horse well. It was enough.

To me, those rides were yesterday. In my mind, I am swanning around the Capitol Centre looking regal in a ladies sidesaddle class. I forget how long ago that was. In reality, my body has suffered decades of muscle memory wherein my equitation atrophied while I worked on my effectiveness. The position I unconsciously assume is no longer a model of elegance. I just think it is.

2) I forget where I am.

After 20 years of retraining and riding an OTTB in the jumper ring, my first thought is to how the horse is moving. This is why I do better on veterans such as Sam or Alvin. I can leave them to get on with their jobs, while I get on with mine. When Trump or Lola wander off book, I drop everything to concentrate on the horse. Not that one can’t equitate and ride, I just don’t.

This is compounded by the fact that I don’t fully grasp what makes an ASB tick. The result is far too much discoordinated floundering.

3) Presentation is not a skill I practice in any other sector of my life.

In the last two years of saddle seat showing, I have spent more time worried about my personal style than I have in the last two decades, on horse or off.

I don’t own panty hose. I wear make-up when forced to for shows. What few dress clothes I own gather dust in the closet. I have been known to cut my hair with horse trimmers. I work at home in my pajamas. The impression I make on other people comes through my words, not my looks. When I go out in public, my main concern is that my ass is covered. Literally. We are talking cloth over buttocks. If my barn jeans have gotten away from me, I occasionally fail at this.

It comes as a shock to the system when I am suddenly required to exude poise for five minutes on a Saturday.

In sum
This doesn’t mean I can’t become an equitation diva. Or that I couldn’t learn a lot if I try but fall short. Liza Towell Boyd, the best child rider of her generation, could not win the Maclay finals. I would be in good company.

More Candidates

Horse shopping recap:

#14 was a older, chestnut Quarter Horse mare who had evented Training level and was priced accordingly. I am confident enough, or possibly arrogant enough, about my riding that I would rather put money into talent than experience.

#15 was a 8- or 9-year-old, bay, TB gelding of reasonable size and very reasonable price. He had been started under saddle as a two-year-old and had not done much in the intervening years. The seller refused to ride him. Um, no thanks.

#16 was a bay, TB mare, sister or half-sister to the above. No show. Trailer issues.

One had too much experience. One had too little. One we didn’t get to experience at all.

Of course that’s not the whole story. I have opinions. But this what I’m going with in public. See Note to Sellers.

Repost, BTE 2 of 9: The Cast Assembles

Over time, I will be reposting the entries from my previous monthly blogs Back To Eventing and Back To Riding. This was originally posted on the USEA website Tue, 2010-09-21, archived here.

Back To Eventing: The Cast Assembles
(The author recounts her return to eventing after 20+ years away.)

“But probably, if I had to pick one thing that I had to hang my hat on, I would want the horse that I was going to buy to have a face that I would enjoy seeing poked over the stall webbing every morning, waiting for breakfast.”
James C. Wofford
Training the Three-Day Event Horse and Rider
[Doubleday 1995, p20]

The Horse Arrives
BTE_Sept_headshotRoscoe* is an 11-year-old, 17.1-hand, bay, Thoroughbred gelding. No, that's not a typo. When he sees voices and hikes up those ears, he channels his inner giraffe. I became enchanted despite not because. He comes with buttons installed for jumpers and dressage, with the dial up to 10 for Likes to Jump. As I understand his life history, he has not hopped over so much as a twig outside the ring.

Riders understandably dream about owning a big, fancy horse. Be careful what you wish for. There is nothing comfortable about being handed the keys to a Ferrari.

The Rider’s Resume
Aged, 15h, Caucasian mare.

Past Experience:
Rode as a kid at summer camps and on a fat pony owned by a distant relative.
Leased first horse in mid-teens.
Earned a graduate B from Upper Valley (VT) & Potomac (MD) Pony Clubs.
Rode in the Intercollegiate Horse Show Association. Learned that good looks and charm can cover a multitude of sins.
Survived a short stint as a working student at an eventing barn. Learned that I did not want to do horses professionally.
Owned three horses prior to Roscoe, most recently an off-the-track Thoroughbred who preferred jumpers.

Current Eventing Level:
Beginner Novice – could and have kicked just about anything over BN, except my previous horse but that’s a post for another day.
Novice – on a cooperative horse.
Training – on a made horse.
Preliminary – as a passenger.
Intermediate or Advanced – not outside of a Star Trek holodeck.

The Groom’s Story
Picture me leaping off Previous Horse after a stellar jumper trip at an A-rated show. Stage left, my coach waves me back into the arena to watch the competition take my line – slower. I win! Pause. Where’s my horse? At last reckoning, he was standing in the breezeway. See me charge back out to find that my insert-adjective-here hubby has quietly taken the horse back to the trailer and is untacking him prior to hosing. Better than roses.

Top Ten Reasons You Know You Found the Right Horse
10 This time, you don’t send the video to all your friends for their opinion beforehand.
9 The seller has another horse who is cute, suitable, and perfect. You don’t even take him out of the stall.
8 While you are deciding, you see other horses & automatically think, “My horse is prettier.”
7 You start to imagine how he would look in your pasture.
6 You superstitiously freak out when someone congratulates you before the fait is fully accompli.
5 You find previous horse’s Coggins in your brush box & don’t get weepy.
4 What was ugly on another horse becomes adorably goofy.
3 You find yourself at the grocery store making daily carrot runs.
2 You email his photo to anyone on your email list who might be remotely interested.
& the number one reason YKYFtRH:
1 When he pitches a widget that would incite panic from a different horse, you laugh and tell him to get over himself.
~~~

*We changed his name a few months later.

Rodney’s Saga Repost locations
BTE 1 of 9: How I Won the Training Level AEC

Show Tweets: Rocking S

Show Report: Rocking S

Rocking S sign

Bingo was my dance partner at this show. As I’ve said before [Training Aids], I am relaxed on Bingo and am less likely to get drawn into his drama. Not that he has much drama in the first place, hence the relaxed. It was a local show, so polo shirt instead of vest. My main competition was the same – myself.

Academy Pleasure WTC Adult 2 of 3
Although I did a reasonably good job of leaving my horse to his own devices and concentrating on my own position, I got out-cuted. Or whatever is the proper term for ladies well past the pigtail stage.

Academy Equitation WTC Adult 3 of 3
I dialed Bingo up a bit more without losing the focus on my riding. However, I blew the right lead. This on a horse who is so easy that kids learn to canter on him. What’s up with that?

Overall
Had glimmerings of the type of riding required for competitive equitation. Also glimmerings that these nuances may not be in my skill set. Nuance is not a word people use to near me. More on this anon.
____________________________________________________________
Gratuitous Donkey Cuteness

Rocking S donkey