100 Miles To Nowhere

Today we are competing in the Tour of the South, Coed 80/20 Division of the 100 of Nowhere Bike Race. We are shoo-ins to win.

The 100 Miles race of Nowhere Bike Race was created by The Fat Cyclist as a fundraiser for Camp Kasem. “a wonderful series of camps across the United States for children who’ve been affected by cancer. … In other words, you’re making a real and measurable difference in the lives of kids who could use stand to have some good, silly, carefree fun.” [FC registration post]

Fatty’s race: 2014 100 Miles of Nowhere: Winners of the Alpine, UT Men and Women’s Divisions
Fatty’s kids at camp: 2014 Camp Kesem Report: Guest Post from Carrie and Katie

The 100 Miles of Nowhere Bike Race is an honor system ride on a self-defined course. The sillier, the better. Divisions are also self-declared. This is why we are shoo-ins. Provided we finish. Eventually.

Given the rigorous nature of the race administration, we decided that it was in completely in keeping with the rules to split the miles between us. Husband has done 100-mile rides. Wife could not do 100 miles downhill with a following wind. Therefore, Wife will drag herself through four laps of 5 miles. Husband will cover the rest. Yes, he is 4 times the biker I am. Easily.

We are basing our loops out of the house. We predict the hardest part will be heaving our sorry carcasses of the couch for the the 4th time.

Updates to appear in this space. Starting approximately 7:30. Updating as each segment is finished: 1 hour+ for him, 30 min for her. (Update: all times CDT.)

The horses, already on break from my numerous saddle seat lessons this week, will snicker from the sidelines as we bike up & down the driveway. No one foresees heavy barn work tomorrow.

(Update the 2nd: The proper name is 100 Miles OF Nowhere. Therefore, the post title above is either a metaphysical commentary on the nature of the endeavor, or I got it wrong. Your choice.)

Time: 7:38 am
START
And he’s off …

Time: 8:50 am
Husband miles: 19.1
Wife miles: 0
Total miles: 19.1

Time: 9:30 am
Husband miles: 19.1
Wife miles: 5.83
Total miles: 24.93

Time: 10:42 am
Husband miles: 38.1
Wife miles: 5.83
Total miles: 43.93

Time: 11:20 am
Husband miles: 38.1
Wife miles: 11.52
Total miles: 49.62

Time: 12:35 am
Husband miles: 57.1
Wife miles: 11.52
Total miles: 68.72

Time: 1:14 am
Husband miles: 57.1
Wife miles: 17.21
Total miles: 74.31

Time: 2:38 am
Husband miles: 76.1
Wife miles: 17.21
Total miles: 93.31

Time: 3:21
Husband miles: 76.1
Wife miles: 24.06
Total miles: 100.16

GO US!

~~~
Arthur 100m

Gratuitous finish line selfie with a purring but uninterested fan, who did absolutely no miles today.

Show Tweets: Alabama Charity 2014

Once again, retweeted by Wheels Down. I think they are confused.

When we have time, my chauffer and I like to take an untried route from point a to point b.

Show Report: Alabama Charity 2014

In sum:

thbbft

ack

I continue to struggle with looking snappy while riding. And, for some reason, with my right lead canter depart. What’s up with that?

My natural sportmanship continues to render me a joy and delight to be near no matter how I place.

Mundane Details
Alabama Charity Championship Horse Show
October 8-11, 2014
Celebration Arena, Priceville, AL
To benefit The John Mark Stallings Special Needs Accessible Playground of Morgan County (SNAP)

ssf sign Al Ch

Academy WTC – Adult, with Lola
Second out of two in Equitation. Second out of three in Showmanship.
Thank you to Jessica Hill and the Kasparian family for their fabulous horse.

Last year’s show report here.

Doug Shiflet Photography > Horse Show Proofs > 2014 Alabama Charity > Saturday Academy > 100 – Showmanship WTC Adult & 101 – Equitation WTC Adult. I’m the one under the helmet. I ordered 100-011-AL14.

Closing Note
The Internet tells me that there are people who, “are too young to remember Bloom County.” [petdance] I find this astounding. I know it is simple math. Bloom County ran 30 years ago. Therefore to anyone under a certain age, BC = BCE. But seriously, a life without Opus?

aaaigh

I Made It!

1000 nl

Rodney’s Saga, post #1 on December 22, 2011 [Begin], post #1000 on October 14, 2014. That’s it. No profound comments. No lessons learned. A simple wheeee!

Process note: I made this as a gif, but it wouldn’t stop. Ever. Even in the media library. I felt like the Sorcerer’s Apprentice. I decided to spare you. This is a non-looping gif. You may see it animate, you may not. Either way, it should cease to spread rage and despair. You’re welcome.

Plans & New Equipment: Schooling Bridles

Rodney

Big Dee's race bridle by Jacks
Big Dee’s race bridle by Jacks

As soon as Rodney feels a rider aboard, he tucks his head into a dressage frame and marches off. If this were the beginning of a diligent work ethic, awesome. Unfortunately, it is the first hoofstep into a ever-tightening spiral of tension that ends with Rodney shutting down and going to his happy place.

Therefore, we have gone back to kindergarten. We stand by the mounting block. We do weave poles. We watch Milton work. I have even sat on him while doing the above. The goal is simple (very. very. oh so very. simple.) exercises to show him that he can have Positive! Experiences! under tack.

Given that the AECs have passed us by for the fourth year, I’m happy with his progress. A few days ago he gave a release yawn with the bit in his mouth. It confused him. Yawn = happy. Bit moving = weird.

Saddle Seat
SSF logoNationals is coming at the end of the month. Given all the excitement at home, I have missed this year’s Boot Camp [Begins]. Instead, I have asked if I can have daily lessons Tues through Friday for the two weeks until we leave.

Even if this effort fails to make a difference in Tennessee, it will be an interesting experiment. I have not ridden that intensively since I was a working student back when we all rode eohippi.

I realize this directly conflicts with my stated desire never to get on another horse ever again. Welcome to the inside of my head.

Milton
M2 bridle 10 12 14Milton has been a star. He lunges. He long-lines. He goes for walks. He takes everything in stride. Oh sure, he’s had moments of being young &/or ignorant. But everything in the barn, in hand, or at work has been within expected parameters. He does not give the slightest indication that he can go from zero to hellspawn in less than three seconds.

After Nationals, I hope to sit down with my saddle seat instructor to plan a campaign for Milton: work him here, take him over there, find a cowboy, etc. I’m still nowhere near wanting to ride him again, but there is a lot of progress that can be made elsewise.

Text Art: Banishing the F-word

10 words wm

My reinterpretation of Life Muses by Ro‘s nifty graphic 10 Tips for Overcoming F**r. (Click on the blue lettering under the share buttons to pull up the jpg.) The first tip is “Do something. Anything. F**r feeds on inaction.”

Excellent advice all through. However, my understanding is that the practicing mind does not register negatives. If you are told, “Don’t lean forward over your jump.”, your brain fastens onto “Lean forward …”.

Instead, I reversed the ten tips into ten positive words. For the lettering, I picked bright but non-competition colors, as far as possible. “Action” got a buzz cut when I trimmed the subtitle with the f-word in it. The sheet went with me to the show yesterday. Just reading through all 10 words gives me a lift.

More advice on conquering nerves compiled in Confessions of an AA Event Rider and Convicted Over Thinker: A WORD TO THE WISE. For example, “Ask yourself, is it real (in the moment) or a story (a possibility of happening in the future)?  If it’s a story, get back to what is real.” from Stressless Riding.