The Secret Life of Horses

A while back, when Mathilda was young(er) and frisky(er), she fell down went boom. I heard a loud noise & happened to be in a room of the house that had a partial view into the run-in area. All I saw were a pair of ears far higher than ears should have been. By the time I ran to the barn, she was scrambling back up. No idea what happened. In unknown order, in unknown combination, we’d had an event, a noise, a spook, a rear, and a fall. She was fine. It occurred to me that if I hadn’t been home, she might have done something, been stiff in consequence, and we never would have known why.

Which is what makes diagnosing animals so difficult. We have no idea what they get up to and they aren’t going to tell us. All we can do is deal with the symptoms and extrapolate.

Let’s say Mathilda is a tiny bit wobblier, or a feeling a little punk. Did I graze her for too long yesterday? Was our walk too far? Or does it have nothing to do with us & she was a strumpet on parade all night [Blustery]? The world may never know.

Mystery animal events in your barn/house?
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Gratuitous Kitten Pic

Speedy Cat Wash?

Monday Rant

Back in the Stone Age, when I was showing two horses and living what passed for my wild single life, I would go into work on Mondays, grab the cash box, crawl over to a chair in the corner, and collapse. My co-worker would come in, look and me and say, “Monday?” I would nod, and that would be my social interaction for several hours.

Many years later, I’m neither showing nor single, but I still don’t have the hang of Mondays [Manic, Less Manic]. This particular Monday*, I am annoyed. Specifically, I am annoyed with the “It could be worse” argument. I’m tired of hearing it. I’m tired of hearing friends apply it to themselves. I’m tired of hearing people apply it to me. I’m tired of hearing me applying it to myself.

It could be worse. Yes, but true to the point of meaninglessness. Unless you are a quadriplegic rape victim in a refuge camp in Darfur, it could always be worse. Unhappy with your life? Well, at least you’re not dying of cancer … , trying to feed a family of six with no job …, insert misery of the moment… I’m certainly thankful for all of that. I’m thankful that I can get out of bed in the morning with a reasonable expectation that no invading hordes are due over the horizon. Does that mean I should leap about spewing rainbows because I breath in and out? Don’t get me wrong. Breathing is one of my favorite activities.

Shouldn’t we be more than breathing machines? I don’t mean from time to time, for relaxation and meditation, as a commenter recommended [Spinning Wheels]. I mean as a life plan. Shouldn’t we strive to be more? More productive? More creative? More charitable? More accomplished? More useful to society? If we fail in those strivings, shouldn’t we be unhappy?

I have a lifelong dream dying over here. Aren’t I allowed to be a little bit cranky?

Question for the day: Does ranting help you or does it overly focus on the problem? Would it be better to move on with life or is that repression?
(*Ranted on Monday for Tuesday’s post. I’m a day ahead of myself. Or possibly a day behind. [Cinder])
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Gratuitous Kitten Pic

How is this comfortable?

Horse Dreams


A few nights ago, I dreamt I was fence judging. Unfortunately, the jumps were in a series of intersecting corridors so there was nowhere to stand that wasn’t in the line of another jump. Begin psychological evaluation.

The cross-country aspect was new but I frequently have dreams of courses inside houses & of unjumpable fences, for example, a vertical headed into a wall. I don’t get around to dream-jumping these. Usually I’m walking the course I trying to figure them out. The frustration aspect I get, but inside a room? My hyper-literal mind interpreting my desire to ride in the Fall “indoor” shows?

In my dreams I rarely ride. I’m much more likely to be getting ready for a dressage test, only to have the bell ring while I am still tacking up. Bog standard anxiety dream.

In contrast, when I dream about firefighting, I am kickass. I rescue entire buildings with a hose I happen to be carrying in my pocket. Ironic because in real-life I’m a less than stellar firefighter [Ticket].

Of course, the anxiety dreams outweigh the awesome-sauce ones. Why can’t we dream that we are flying Air Force One? Or riding in an Olympic victory gallop? Or living on the moon? In “The Long Way Home” from Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Season 8, Vol 1 by Whedon & Vaughan et al. [Dark Horse Comics 2010], the character Ethan Rayne says, “You are always dreaming every dream you could dream all the time. Even when you’re awake, a part of your brain is stirring that brew. Which one you choose to remember in the morning is based on wishes, anxieties…”. As good an explanation as any.

Do you think horses (cats, dogs, iguanas) dream?

[Illustration by Sara Light-Waller, Flying Pony Studios]

Barn Safety

In firefighting, there is the concept of the collapse zone. This is the area one & a half times the height of a building. If there’s a suspicion of potential collapse, everyone stays far enough back to be out of harm’s way should the building come down. For a structure fire in a mobile home, this means the front yard. For a skyscraper, it could be quite a distance.

Ever tried to groom a horse while staying out of the collapse zone? Yes, one should always be on alert around horses, fleet-footed and ready to flee. Yet we all fall into slovenly habits around horses we know. I certainly do. These days, I have to pay extra attention when grooming Mathilda. Stay on my feet in a balanced crouch, one eye on the horse, ready to pull back. Resist the urge to kneel down, lean over too far, or dart around to her bad side for “just a minute.” Plus, you know how horses lift a leg when you get to an itchy spot? Imagine this on a horse who has a questionable number of functioning legs to begin with. Never a dull moment.

In truth, Mathilda is no longer radically tippy. She has reached a funky but working equilibrium. It’s more that if she were to fall, I don’t wish to be underneath.

What barn (pet, house) routines have you had to change or adapt over the years?
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Gratuitous Kitten Pic

Help with those hard to reach spots.