Rodney, The December Dismals

The relationship between Rodney and me has completely cratered.

It could be him. He’s been jumpy since his first massage back in October [Massage Day]. As if the bodywork stirred up physical issues. He was more accepting of his second massage – when he didn’t think it was ultra-weird – but still jumpy after. Or winter is coming. Rodney’s tension level always goes up as the temperature goes down. Or …

It could be me. I believe horses like to have a job. OTOH, Rodney is currently delighted with time off and isn’t coping well with the little bit of standing and riding that we do. He’ll run away when I go to catch him in the field. That’s new. In turn, I am not coping well with this change in attitude. I feel that I have put so much work into this horse and gotten so little in return. Maybe he doesn’t want to be near the scary, angry person. Or …

It could be both of us. Dark. Cold. A time of dormancy.

In the grand scheme of things, never riding your horse is tiny. It feels big to me.

Thank you for reading,
Katherine Walcott

7 thoughts on “Rodney, The December Dismals

  1. I feel your pain. I can’t decide if I’m really pissed off that I’m not winter boarding and riding (Horse had late fall Lyme) or kinda glad? On those 10 degree days I’m secretly thrilled that I don’t have to buck up and go ride, but when the temps hover closer to 30 I get pissed off. I HATE caring for able-bodied horses that don’t do anything except eat, sleep and poop. I didn’t sign on to cater to their needs and get nothing in return. Not a fan. I figure if I have to do all the work then they need to hold up their end of the deal.

    1. I loved my horses as much for who they were as for riding. They were therapy for me and if they couldn’t be ridden or I couldn’t ride, they still were there for me. They were at a full service boarding stable; my health was worsening even then. But they were there for me when I needed it, and that was well worth the costs involved.

      1. I wasn’t implying that I don’t love my horses. I do. But I don’t think of them as big giant dogs, either. They are horses and I didn’t get them to be lawn ornaments. Since I do ALL the work and make many, many sacrifices (financial, physical and emotional) to have them, they are required (while able-bodied and healthy) to do their job, which is to be ridden as often as possible. That’s why I got them. I don’t think that’s an unreasonable expectation.

        1. Your expectations are not unreasonable. But what one person needs/wants is different from what another wants/needs, and both are equally valid. I never thought of my horses as big giant dogs. If I wanted a big giant dog that’s what I would have gotten. Many people with horses have made sacrifices to get and keep those horses. We all value these horses for various reason or we wouldn’t keep them. I have mental as well as physical health issues. My horses really were therapy for me. I have a different living situation now, and a pomeranian as my psychiatric service dog because that is what I need now. I will never have another horse but the memories I have are still helpful to me.

          1. Having been a reader of this blog since … well, since it started (?) I’ve often wondered if Katherine’s cyclic blues about the status of her not riding her horses has something to do with the fact that she didn’t get either one of them with the intention of owning lawn ornaments. Having used myself as an example, I merely tried to explain that I know it would drive ME to the brink of despair if I got horses with the full intention of riding them, and years later was no closer to accomplishing that feat. That is not meant as criticism, but it’s been a reoccurring theme in this blog for some time. Life is short. Therefore, I went on to say that I would do everything in my power to make absolutely certain I was up and in the saddle ASAP, including (if need be) re-homing the non-ridable horses and replacing them with something I could ride. Because for ME, that’s why I have horses. And while I understand everyone has animals for different reasons, ever since I started following this blog I’ve been under the impression Katherine’s goal was to ride her horses, not just to “have” them in her back yard. But I could be wrong. It happened once before. 🙂

  2. You are both right. The horses are pets who are here to stay. The horses are competition partners who are making me crazy. Plus a lot of dreary life crap that makes it hard for me to fight my way out of the doldrums.

    Thank you both for your comments. It helps to feel that someone is listening.

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