Impatient? Moi?

The injured party. Note the lack of symmetry to the right button.

Waiting for the vet on Friday. I’m not worried. Mathilda is getting steadily if slowly better. This appointment is more in the way of a systems check to insure we are on the right track. No big deal. I am working at my computer. Cat on the desk. Dog at my feet. The gentle hum of the server is the only sound. Then, my mouse – once again – declines to move the cursor to the left. I smack it remedially against the desk. Cat is taken aback. She – once again – knocks a pile of paper off my desk. I become verbally perturbed. Cat and dog leave the house at Mach II. The 80-pound Shepherd leading the 8-pound cat by a nose.

Okay, so maybe I was a little worried.

I knew a woman who threw silverware into the sink for maximum noise with minimum damage. How do you express yourself?

The Point of Worry

For those of us who are more ant than grasshopper, fussing over possibly futures has always come easily. We worry about what might happen and what we can do to prevent/mitigate it. I should have a working fire extinguisher in case of a kitchen fire. I should phrase the paragraph this way to avoid those possible objections.

From a rational POV, Mathilda is doing much better [HOW]. She’s walking a much straighter line. She’s figured out how to prop her hip to take some of the weight. She’s eating most of her meals & devouring carrots at an alarming rate – 5 lbs divided among 2 horses in 3 days. Overall, her eyes are bright & her ears are up.

But who can be rational? So out comes the worry. Will she eat enough? Serve lunch. Is she drinking enough? Extra buckets within reach. Is there too much stress on the weight-bearing leg? Take her for short, frequent walks. Check the hoof for heat. Horse folks &/or those who followed Barbaro know that with horses the acute injury is just the first hurdle. Will they develop complications from enforced rest? From overuse of the non-injured body parts? So, horse owners imagine every possible worst-case scenario and do what they can to avoid them.

Alfred E. Neuman is wrong. Worry is productive. As for restful, soothing, leaving you space in your head to do anything else? Not so much.

Contest update: Routine maintenance has been delayed until the acute issues are resolved. Unless I am struck coup de foudre, the lists will be open until the day of Rodney’s Coggin’s test. Leave your suggestions. Tell your friends. Not just horse friends. Dog folks & cat folks have experience pondering the perfect pet name. Thanks.

Ant or grasshopper?

Courses For Horses

Have you ever wondered how your horse knows how to get along with people? Simple, he learned it in school. Through diligent research, we have obtained a peek at an equine course catalog:

The Top 12 Most Popular Courses in Horse School

Hydrodynamics – Calculating just the right angle to hold your head so the water runs down the arm of the person holding the hose.
Geography – How to locate a hose in one easy step. Companion class to hydrodynamics.

Nutrition – Identifying the most expensive hay and grain by taste.

First Aid – Lost shoes, bug bites on the saddle area, how to maximize time off with minimum inconvenience to yourself.
Time Management – Read a calendar or show prize list and know when to go lame. Companion class to First Aid.
Advanced Time Management – The meaning of the words Championship and Year-End Final.

Public Relations – Identifying and sucking up to the one who writes the checks.

English – Picking out key words such as “carrot” and “Alpo” in human chatter.
English Seminar – Does ‘Whoa Dammit’ ever really apply?

Zoology – How to detect the sign of lions hiding behind common stable objects.

Psychology – Using well-timed whinnies and soulful looks to rebuild your credit balance.

Art – Mud as performance art.

[List originally appeared in Hunter & Sport Horse, January/February 2002, as a guest “Top 12”. Reprinted with permission of the author b/c the author is going to spend the major part of her day driving back & forth for a mid-day patient check.]

BTW, yesterday’s title was a mistake. I now have a Mellencamp earworm. (Today’s public service message. Googling “brain worm” is NOT a good idea.)

What was your horse’s major?

It Hurts So Good

Don’t. Stop. Don’t stop. Seriously, I can’t tell. Since Mathilda’s left hind leg is sore [How?], she’s resting her weight on her right hip and leg, thereby overtightening the muscles in her croup and hindquarters. During Rodney’s heat therapy, I put the second heating pad on her Bai Hui point instead of his. [100]

I couldn’t tell if she liked it or not. She’d spin in circle and stomp her feet as if to shake it off, then stop and give a big lap. On the up side, she was at liberty, so she could have left at any point. Plus, she’s not usually one to give away big releases. During a massage, she acts as if she’s barely tolerating me and then goes off to have a yawnfest when I let her go. On the down side, she was twirling around as if bugs were biting her butt. But then, I’ve never had the faintest idea what that mare was saying. [Square Horses]

However, it makes me feel a bit better about Rodney. While I may not be able to interpret all of his justifications and rationalizations, I do have Good/Not Good sorted out.

What mixed signals do you get from your horse (or dog, or cat)?

Shadow Horse

Rodney wants to know where all the love has gone. Healthy siblings of chronically ill children are sometime known as shadow children*. All the attention and energy is focused on the sick one. While I do not support the child-substitute idiom, Rodney definitely feels marginalized. On Saturday evening, when Mathilda’s leg problems were manifesting and we were zinging about in diagnosis hysteria, he stood outside the barn looking in, clearly wondering why the mare had suddenly been elected Queen of the Universe.

OTOH, he’s all for the frequent carrot checks and group baths. When we head for the water trough to hose M’s leg, Rodney comes along for a splash on the chest. In truth, he could be much more intrusive and crabbier about all of it. His attitude is more of perky-eared, good-natured inquisitiveness. We want to encourage him to be curious and engaged in his environment. Hard to get annoyed when he is.

Patient update: still off but walking better than I had hoped. At this pace, recovery could be days instead of weeks. At least, recovery to status quo ante. Her rumba days have been over for a while.

[*no definitive Google source found. Pulled from the magpie nest that is my brain.]

Does your horse get jealous? If so, how?

How Do They Know?

Work: day off. Too distracted.

Ramblings for the Day: This is the third (fourth?) time Mathilda has gotten injured on the weekend. My personal favorite was when I was out of town, called home on Friday night, and got, “Hi, can’t talk. The vet is coming up the driveway.” Having worked in an ER, Greg is sensitive about emergency calls. If he called the vet, we were at DEFCON3 and falling. So there I was, set to have a night on the town in the big city, and all I could do was go back to my hotel & eat crackers to settle my stomach.

This weekend was less vet, more drama. Usually on our walk, Mathilda & I dawdle along the edge of the field [Two Horses]. Saturday afternoon, Mathilda & Greg came along on Rodney’s obstacle course walk to keep him company. M decided to try one of his exercises. Mistake. By the time we got back to the barn, she was holding her leg at a wonky angle and wobbling at the walk. All of the standard fears are magnified when the patient is a 28-year-old geriatric with a hitch in her git-along to start with.

Between Greg’s knowledge of anatomy, Google surfing, and these images, we diagnosed a groin pull. Nothing to do but administer pain meds, hose the sore spot, and wait. We knew she was feeling punk because she allowed me to console her.

Even with the most obsessive checking of the patient, you have plenty of time. You certainly aren’t sleeping. You go out to the pasture to feed carrots. Granted you might be too worried for concentrated tasks – such as working the Thoroughbred – but there is no reason you couldn’t do mindless chores such as another load of dishes or folding the laundry. But you don’t. You sit. More carrots. You watch bad TV. Another carrot run, only you stress when she’s too full to eat yet another carrot. You fill out crossword puzzles that you don’t remember the next day. Invariably the one part of your first aid kit you need is the one that has just gone out of date. Why don’t horses ever do things to themselves first thing Tuesday morning?

We’ve all had horses come sound the day after a show. What is the most calendar-sensitive stunt your horse has pulled?