Pondering the Hiatus

Saddle Seat Wednesday

All along, I’ve been saying that I will stay with saddle seat. So why did I feel the need to wander off [Sine Die]?

Proximate Cause
At my most recent lesson, I was offered a choice of two horses to ride, both new to me. I had no desire to ride either one. This is normal for me. I warm up slowly to new horses. Always have.

Once I got on, I just wanted it to be over. This is not normal for me, nor is it a good way to be on a horse. That’s when I decide a break was called for.

Short-Term Causes
At Mid-South this year, I had my best saddle seat show ever [Show Report]. Although I missed sweeping my classes, it was still my best show in terms of attitude and showmanship. I’ve had some great lessons. The good show and the good rides were all on Sam.

My lessons and shows with everyone else have been horrid. I’m not talking, ‘Poor me, I didn’t ride as well as I wanted.’ At ProAm [Show Report], my problems were so obvious that one of the adult novices wondered what had happened to me.

I have no explanation for that degree of difference.

Long-Term Causes
New horses. Always a weakness for me.
Mares. Ditto.
Reconciling dressage and saddle seat lessons.
Not the 6-week break over the summer. That would be logical but my terrible ride on Bingo was before and my wonderful lesson on Sam was after.

When I look back, I see this was not sudden. My saddle seat has been disintegrating since the end of Winter Tournament.
[Graduating From Sam] Riding Desi
[Show Report: Riding at ProAm 2017, or Showing Without My Security Blanket I] Showing Desi
[Styling, Or Not] Wondering Why
[Show Report: Dixie Cup 2017] Showing Mr. Whizbang
[Back To Kindergarten] Regrouping on Sam
[Where The Rot Sets In]
[Show Report: Mid-South Spring Premiere 2107, Riding] Showing Sam
[Anatomy of a Snit] Riding Bingo
[Getting a Grip, or Not] Wonder Why, again
[Getting a Grip, Proof of Concept] It works … on Sam
[Sine Die Saddle Seat] It doesn’t work

Coach Courtney thinks I am getting myself in a state about the show bridle [Different Versions of the Same Thing]. Correct, but a symptom rather than a cause.

Underlying Cause
My summer problems come from Rodney breaking my heart yet again [Recap]. To suffer disappointment, one has to have hope. I would have said I had no hope left. I would have said that any spark had been throughly stomped after all these years. Then, I look past the confusion to my gorgeous, kind, talented horse, and a small voice whispers ‘… maybe … ‘

This is an acute manifestation of a chronic situation. I’ve said it before [Nerves Update, April 2016], my problems with saddle seat won’t get fixed until I come to terms with the home team, one way or another.

I’m not gone forever, or even for now. Miss Courtney is being a huge help with Milton’s driving. I’ll start riding the new horses, and the mares, and Bingo when I get self sorted out and am safe to ride.

Bottom Line
I’ll be back. Once I get my head screwed on right.

Thank you for reading,
Katherine Walcott

3 thoughts on “Pondering the Hiatus

  1. I’m guess the glitch is shipping/loading? Again, bring in the professionals and consider it just part of the learning curve. They will help you …. until you don’t need their help. They WANT to see your team succeed. Biggest mistake I’ve EVER made in anything is thinking I have to fix or tackle something alone. Besides, Rodney strikes me as the kind of horse who thinks he needs an entourage. So give him one! 🙂

  2. Saddle seat was a side trip from the beginning. You found a friendly barn, got on horses and entered shows for years. That was a good thing. It kept you in the horse world while you waited for the home team to shape up to your expectations. It hasn’t.

    The base question is “What does this woman want?”

    Dreams change or become obsolete. At my age (old enough to be your mother), I can see now how I have satisfied underlying passions in ways different than the ways I expected. E.g.: my dream of being an actress was never realized in my adult years. However, in my professional career, I made presentations to audiences of all sizes. In retirement, I gave sermons at church. Both satisfied my need for attention and public acclaim for a job well-done. And I had fun. I truly enjoyed being “on stage”.

    What need does cross-country/jumping satisfy that saddle seat does not? Adrenaline? Challenge? Danger? Being at the edge of your ability?

    What else have you done that is at all similar in its effect on you? The answer may be nothing.

    You have the time, you appear to have the money, you have the support team to make a full court press for the fulfillment of that dream. It can be done. Maybe not the way you are going about it now. Think “outside the box”. Geographic move. Commute as you do with driving. Buy a Sam-like jumper.

    If your other dreams conflict, then it’s negotiation time. If there are things you will not change and they prevent you from your cc/j career, then change your dream. Woulda, coulda, shoulda is not a healthy attitude to life.

    I wait with interest to read the next chapter of your life.

  3. Thank you both for the thoughts.

    Actually, the most recent disappointment is with his jumping. Will he ever? Is he structurally unable? I totally agree about getting help, but if his body can’t do it, then it can’t do it.

    The trailering is a) attached to dressage & b) something I know how to address. If his ankle ever heals.

    Yes, Rodney LOVES an entourage. So does Milton.
    While there are tactical arguments I could make, i.e. my inability to buy a horse I can ride & the unavailability/expensiveness of Sam-like jumpers, you are right that one should revisit strategic goals on a regular basis.

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