Enough about them [Maiden Voyage!, Milton Drives On], what about me? When we get home from a drive, I am exhausted; partly physical, mostly mental. I said as much after Kentucky [Repercussions]. Here’s why.
Base Emotions
I have never gotten clear on the difference between envy & jealousy. Maybe it’s neither. I don’t want what he has. I don’t want him not to have it. It’s more along the lines of seeing someone eat a candy bar and thinking, ‘That’s looks yummy. Can I have some?’
They Also Serve
Running around being Wonder Groom reminds me that I’m good at what I don’t want, and not good at what I do want. As a career, I should have been a barn manager, or an operating room nurse, or a theatrical dresser. You know, the person working quietly behind the scenes to make sure the rider/doctor/star has what they need to perform. Unfortunately, I have too much ego. I don’t want to be unsung support staff. I want to be center stage, whether or not I have the talent.
Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda
Milton is a big, gray reminder of my failure. I want to be happy that he likes driving, but he was supposed to be my riding horse, d*mm*t.
Bottom Line
So that’s me. Perky on the outside. Petty on the inside.
Thank you for reading,
Katherine Walcott
Virtual Brush Box 
Our driving horses get ridden all the time. Even when they’re first learning to do one or the other. These critters were designed to walk AND chew gum and we’ve found the busier their minds are, the more they seem to rise to and thrive with the challenge. Try it.
What she said (rontuaru).
That’s the plan. I’m just wallowing in impatience & frustration. If there’s a lesson here, I’m not learning it.
But honest through and through.
I get it. It’s not just you and I’m sure there are many more out there.
Listen to your friends too 🙂
Honest & understandable! I also agree with the first commenter re riding & driving- that makes a lot of sense & makes a fit, engaged horse that is not bored.
Thank you all. I promise I’m not as gloomy as I sound. Organizing my thoughts for a post often helps me process them and move on.
That’s a good way to use the posts.