I’ve given up hoping for a turning point with Rodney. Oh, I still wish for a sudden explosion of fairy dust that will have us hopping him carting me over 3′ 6″ with aplomb. But I don’t live my life waiting for it. He is who he is.
So we putt along.
I was a hot mess [Turning Point]. Then Rodney arrived and made it worse [Square One]. I grew unable to speak up. I lost all confidence in my decisions. My wonderful, kind, supportive groundcrew would suggest I do X, Y, or Z with Rodney. I didn’t have the will to say no, even if the idea made me uncomfortable. He was right. I really should be able to do X or Y or even Z. So, I’d do it, i.e. walk around the ring several times. It would go okay, but I’d be tentative. I’d be waiting for it all to go wrong.
Lately, I have been getting more assertive, mainly with myself. Yes, I should be able to do Y or Z. For now, we will do X. That’s all. Even if X means standing at the mounting block for a few minutes. For now, I am only doing what I feel secure about.
I’m also getting more assertive with Rodney. Yes, I know you prefer a hackamore. I don’t. You have not earned the cred. Therefore, you will wear a bit. Deal with it. Ditto, putting your head down by your knees. You need to convince me that you are acting out of relaxation rather than stress. Until then, head up & pay attention.
Will it last? Will it lead to progress? Time will tell.
Thank you for reading,
Katherine Walcott
Virtual Brush Box 
I have recently gotten more assertive with Apollo. He’s not allowed to go bitless either at this point. I think for a lot of years I just really wanted him to like me hahaha, now I want him to respect me. Many conversations are being had!
Good for you!
I agree, good for you! I hit a turning point with my guy where I had to push him much harder than I ever had, but we came through the other side in good shape. Both of us the better for it I think. Our hurdle was: cantering in an arena. Outside, he’d go at whatever gait I wanted, and maintain it, but in an enclosed space it was all I could do to get him to canter – and then much more of a train wreck to try and maintain it. For a long time I thought it was just me, I figured I just couldn’t ride the canter. Until I rode a lesson horse who had rhythm and didn’t fight me. I finally had to MAKE my guy (us) do it – at first. I realized he had been getting away with a lot, for a long time: “act drunk, bounce her around a bunch, and she’ll let me slow down”. I’m sure it was not a pretty couple of rides to watch, but we figured it out. After that, things were a lot easier for both of us. He got in shape to be able to canter laps/circles – with rhythm – and I earned to confidence to ask (or insist if needed) that he do it.
Sigh.