Part 2 of 3
[Part 1: Clean Cups!]
Why were we so thick? Why did it take us so long to notice that Milton was Not Quite Right?
Novelty
A new horse has no baseline. What is normal? We tried ulcer meds for a month [So What, November]. He got pissier. We showered them with hay [Ranch, March]. They ate it. We raised feed rations [Miseries, February]. Ditto.
Maybe Milton simply had an irritable personality. It happens. Previous Horse could have been grumpy on a national team. After living with that for 20 years, Milton’s mild case was not remarkable.
Blame
Clearly any problems were All My Fault [Deconstructed, December]. Milton was uncooperative and unpleasant. He was not awful. He was not impossible. If I tried harder, was more motivated … If I was a better rider, a better person … If I would just suck it up and ride the damn horse …
Despair
Milton was supposed to be the easy horse. The horse I turned to as a relief from the quagmire of frustration that is Rodney. The specter of a second pasture ornament exceeded my ability to cope.
Virtual Brush Box 
Food has never been a major focus in your life. You have many skills and interests. Cooking food, feeding others, learning how it works and why has never been a high priority. That’s not a bad thing. Just not your thing.
I like what Louise said about plants. It applies to food, not just plants. Food is the source of life and the promise of the future. What you put into a living body determines what future life that body has.
Example: during your first few decades, you drank milk as if it were the water of life. A picky eater, milk was always your go to food. It was amazing how much milk you drank.
Now, this may be a coincidence, but you went from a breech birth who was expected to have bow legs to acceptance at the Juilliard School of Ballet. No mean feat. The milk made beautiful bones.
It may be of interest to your readers to note that you realized that ballet and horses were incompatible activities. Your legs could do one or the other but not both. You chose horses. There were other factors but the bottom line was horses. In Manhattan.
Food maketh the woman. Or horse.