[Previous end-of-the-month SotB posts here]
Is the blog soaking up life energy that could better directed elsewhere or is it keeping me from climbing the walls?
If you could shift some of that focus from outward goals … you might find a change in attitude toward your life and your goals, one that brings less frustration and more peace. [Sine Die, Louise]
If I did not blog …
Would I pursue inner peace?
Would I focus outward but in a more harmonious direction toward the improvement of the planet and of the life thereon?
Would I channel an upswelling of creative force into The Great American Novel?
Or would I use the unoccupied space in my life to rewatch Sherlock DVDs, this time with captions to catch the jokes I missed because of the British accents?
Or would I write nothing, avoid my office entirely, and run past the doorway to avoid the sucking vortex of guilt within?
Or would I wallow in dark rooms, binge-eating cookie dough?
Also the ASBs. Does time spent in the wrong discipline dilute my riding efforts or keep me sane? If I didn’t ride saddle seat …
Would I address my issues with Milton?
Would I find friendly barn with fabulous school horses and a first-rate instructor – who taught jumping?
Would I pursue the goal of riding Prelim with such intensity that I would finally give up sodas, eat right, & get fit?
Or would I stand at the pasture fence staring at my lawn ornaments wondering what evil fairy I inadvertently insulted to arrive at this position?
Or would I clear my browser of any horse-related bookmarks, sell all of my horse books, and forbid the use of the h-word in my presence?
Or would I wallow in dark rooms, binge-eating cookie dough?
My money is on the cookie dough option. In every case.
~~~
Gratuitous Horse Photo
Virtual Brush Box 
Cookie dough sounds the best option 🙂
Yeah, cookie dough here, too. And cat videos.
Cookie dough is always good. Especially when it’s home made from scratch. But – you need to get back on Milton and start working with him. Saddle seat is changing your muscle memory and you’ve got to get it back. If you’re going to get to Prelim before you’re one hundred, you’ve gotta start now. Been there. Done that. Got the bruises and concussions to prove it. Never got past baby novice. Which was ok, i’m not as ambitious as you are.You’re better than i am at riding than i will ever be, even when i thought I’d still be riding now. I know you can do it.
Cat videos (or still photos) are always good. Now, to get a pic of a cat eating cookie dough….
My time sponges of choice are, in no particular order: knitting, jig saw puzzles and reading “potato chip” novels, ones that are amusing, quickly read but require another one immediately. Reading a series chronologically is best. It gives a nice sense of accomplishment and even has a goal. Same with movies.
The benefit of wallowing is that eventually I get bored silly and start doing mindless tasks like laundry, cleaning out the fridge, watering the plants and gradually ease back into an active life, usually with a shift in priorities/goals/life plan, whatever.
The danger is getting stuck there. When the wallowing turns out to be a mid-life, any age, crisis, I usually talk to a professional. Works every time. Friends and family are too close.
OTOH, nobody else is you. What works for me may be absolutely the wrong thing for you.
People are like books. I look forward to reading your next chapter.
Back when I was having my issues with a new, young, feisty horse it was ‘suggested’ that I get a trainer to come over to my farm and work with us. I did, but she rode/taught English. I ride Western. Not that it mattered all that much when the problem was more one of confidence (after a good butt-tossing) and minor control issues. It helped a lot. So much so that I decided I ought to take lessons from her … at HER farm. English, because that’s what she taught. I convinced myself that this was a good idea because who knows? Someday I MIGHT decide to ride my horse English. (Yeah, right. At that point I was barely riding her at all, but that sounded logical to me!) I had a grand old time. Jumped, even! Woot! Problem was, I wasn’t doing squat about the issues with my OWN horse. I had every excuse in the book: my ring was too small, the footing wasn’t the best, there was bad ju-ju in our ring, the other horses screamed too much, it was too windy out … you name it, I had an excuse for it. Eventually, I woke up and realized that taking lessons on her horses at her farm wasn’t doing a thing for my relationship with my OWN horse. You know the end of the story: I found a Western trainer who came and got my horse (we don’t have a trailer) and put both of us in training for six months. That took me WAY out of my comfort zone, but all our ‘problems’ got fixed! And we haven’t regressed or looked back since. Make a chart of your goals if you must. What are you doing to advance yourself AND your horses in that direction? I’d say stop with the fun, makes-me-feel-good-about-myself distractions and work on solving the issues with the projects in your own back yard. If you don’t, a year from now you’ll be pondering the same questions. Get somebody out there to ride those horses and work on getting you back in your OWN saddle. ‘Nuff said.
PS. I want you to succeed. Sorry if that comes off sounding like a bitch. I probably just need some cookie dough … 😉
Thanks all. At show. Response likely to be thin until mid-next week.