Talking about fiction in the outside world. Transfer Orbit: The idea is never the problem. Interview with John Scalzi. Amusing on its own and a second professional who says what I have said. [Sending A Message To The Future, intro]
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#20 Strength Training, 213 words
The instructor pointed to the numbers on the board and announced, “Think of it as strength training for your brain.”
I must have looked dubious since he called on me.
“Do you have a comment, trainee?”
I looked at the instructor. I looked at the board. “It’s the times tables,” I said. “It’s not rocket surgery.”
Instructor: What is two plus two?
Me: Four.
Instructor: What is six times seven?
Me: Forty … two.
Instructor: See. Right there. You paused. You had to check your math. Facts have to come to you immediately. You will be making scoring decisions in seconds. The numbers have to be reflex.
(turning to address the class at large)
This is a common misconception. Hey, it’s multiplication. I learned that in third grade. But I have to ask, did you? Did you really learn them? Or did you learn a few tricks to get you thru the weekly quiz? Things like the nines tables add up to nine?
It’s not a game anymore my friends. It’s sponsorships and advertising and multi-million dollar facilities. And you are the ones standing in front of the world making the calls. People have dedicated their lives to getting here. They are not going to be happy if you make a math mistake.
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Afterword
Once again, I have no idea what comes next. I was happy to hit 200 words. Getting back into it after stalling out 11 days ago. I think it makes sense, but I did not have the text read for coherence.
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#21 Inner Critic, 208 words
Podcaster: Tell us about your blog, The Inner Critic.
TIC: I review movies with an emphasis on set design, mainly interiors.
Podcaster: That seems like a very niche topic.
TIC: It is. Think of it as the furniture version of Frock Flicks. They talk costume; I talk couches.
Podcaster: What do you say when you talk couches?
TIC: The set is another member of the cast, a silent character. Does the set have plastic walls and doors that swish open automatically? Science fiction. Low light and cobwebs? Horror. We know this without realizing we know this. We are so familiar with the tropes that the set designers can play with the themes. These days, low light and visible cobwebs are more likely to be a horror parody.
Podcaster: With your readership numbers, you must be talking about more than couches.
TIC: The bigger part of the story is that set design is a way of talking about the time the movie was made. If you watch episodes from the original Star Trek series, they no longer look futuristic. They are a time capsule of the 1960s. It’s about context. Why were these choices made? What was going on in the world that this was story was responding to?
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Afterword
I had more to material for this one, for example interiors vs exteriors. Stopped when I crossed 200 words. The rest still would not have constituted a story, more like another 200 words of pontificating.
Does what I’ve written have any bearing on reality? No idea. Making it up as I went along.
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#22 Community Service, 265 words
Did you know that there are three types of community service?
Direct. Feed people. Clean oil off ducks. Pick up litter on the roadside. Do the thing.
Indirect. Hold a food drive. Paint a building. Do the thing that benefits someone, without having to interact with the someone.
Advocacy. Hand out flyers. Call your Congress critter. Raise awareness.
These are all legitimate types of community service.
So why am I stuck doing data entry at a health clinic? I could be selling cookies and giving them the money. I could do that. Without eating too many of the cookies. Or I could yap at people about the need for better local health services. I’m real good at yapping.
Then I wouldn’t have to deal with the hostility. I don’t want to be here. They don’t want me here. Would you let someone who has been convicted of computer fraud near your IT system? Of course not. But they are state funded, so they have to help with criminal rehabilitation. That would be me.
So I am doing trivial tasks nowhere near their system. At least, they didn’t think they have let me near their system. Volunteers have to sign in. Sign in is by computer. That’s all I need.
Oh don’t worry. I’m being good. Once my community service is up, I’ll give them a white hat hacker report. Tell them all the ways they need to update their system. Because they really need to update their system. If they had anything worth stealing, it would be gone by now. By someone else! Not me!
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Afterword
So tempted to stop today. Energy low. Don’t feel the project is leading anywhere. I’m getting blog posts out – even did an extra one today (for next Wednesday) – and prodding my work assignment along. After that, much staring into the middle distance.
As you see, got it done. Guess that’s the point. Set the bar so that it’s achievable even when you don’t feel it. Is the project going anywhere? We’ll find out in 8 days.
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#23 Seasonal Shift, 208 words
Now that winter is almost here, it’s time for the seasonal shift. Out with the autumn seasonings. In with the winter seasonings. Yes, I do mean season as in time of year and season as in spices. Puns pay the bills.
As an executive chef for a restaurant that markets itself as trendy, I have to keep the menu New and Exciting. We do that with our Seasonal Section. Want fun food? Try this. We also want to keep offering the same entrees to grow our base of return customers. Want comfort food on a Thursday after a long day at work? Check out the regular menu.
Of course, trying to predict new fun foods are a crap shoot. Sometimes you hit big. Sometimes the new menu becomes a meme for bad food puns. Sometimes it’s both. Pumpkin spice sausages? Everybody laughed, and kept ordering. We bring them back as a recurring seasonal special every year.
So, winter. Ice and cold and blue. We served spiced blueberry sherbet as an entree one year. Wasn’t as bad as you might think, although not a repeater. There has to be something with pine. Not everyone celebrates Christmas, but If I leave pine off the menu, boy do we get complaints.
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Chugging through this. Also, back on hi-test pain meds today, so no idea if this makes sense.
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#24 Heavy Coat, words
Andres asked if I wanted to use such a heavy coat. He thought there was already too much color on the trees this year and was convinced the humans would notice. He worries too much.
I was sure it wouldn’t be a problem. Humanity takes so much of the world in stride. Sunrises and sunsets are a festival of color every day. Sometimes they comment on the beauty. Sometimes they comment that it’s too early, too late, or too much sun directly in their eyes.
And then there is the animal world. I mean, have you seen the blue poison dart frog? That is an unreal level of color, and blue no less. Not much in nature is blue. If they can accept that, then a little more red on the maple trees will slide right by.
At least, they won’t notice consciously. Unconsciously, the difference will register. A little redder. A little prettier. Someone is bound to say, “The trees look nice this year.” And then get on with their lives.
Which is why I do it. It has been a rough year for everyone. A little more joy in the autumn trees will be a nice grace note.
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Afterword
Feel like I’m cranking these out to get ‘er done. Having said that, I don’t hate this on reread.
Oddly, this one ended at 192. Had to find 8 words to pad it out. Usually if I get anywhere near 200, I have no problem crossing the finish line. Do I write these with an eye on the word count? You better believe it.
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Resuming project that was delayed on account of splatifying myself and the subsequent surgery. [Horsekeeping, Not]
See Jane Write: 30 Writing Prompts for November
[November Writing Challenge Week 1, Fiction Fragments]
[November Writing Challenge Week 2, Fiction Fragments]
[November Writing Challenge Week 3, Fiction Fragments]
Onwards!
Katherine