Rodney had a bad day [Evil Twin]. Which means I had a bad week, or more. It’s been a while since I’ve indulged in a good, solid Rodney whinge. Shall we begin?
In general, as my horse goes, so goes my attitude. Good day at the barn? Happy me. Bad day? Bad me. Have you seen the meme where the man is praying, “Sweet Baby Jesus, please let my wife have a great ride.”? Yeah, like that.
In specific, Rodney puts an extra spin on the generalized angst. He is my chance at a fancy horse. My chance to dance on a carpet of stars. Milton is nice: good mover, athletic, pretty, and so on. In the grand pool of OTTBs, he’s average, maybe a bit above average. Rodney is the nicest horse I’ve ever sat on: the movement, the ability, yes, even the attitude. Milton is upper middle class, Rodney is aristocracy. I may be hitting my head against a brick wall, but the bricks in that wall are made of gold. When I feel that chance slip out of my reach, I give in to despair.
Get Over Myself
Cry me a river. Of the litany of problems facing the world, this doesn’t make the list, not even the extra-long, extended version.
Accurate. Not helpful. Just adds guilt. Now, in addition to being in a funk, I am whacking myself with the gratitude hammer [A Look Inside My Head]. WHAM!
Or to put on a positive spin, I can’t predict the future. An opportunity wearing silver horseshoes might be cantering toward me at this very moment.
Also accurate, in that no one knows the future. Also not helpful, living on the thin air of might & maybe.
Least successful method.
Bloom Where I am Planted
So I never have that dream ride. I ride a lot of nice horses. Long may it continue.
For example, Dottie is most competitive-minded horse I’ve ever shown. Riding her taught me how a true performer thinks. Would I have liked to ride her 10 years ago? Sure. Is it a honor to ride her now? Also, sure.
Moderately successful method.
Expect It To Happen Again
With this horse, hope will flicker until either we hit the big time or I call the backhoe. Therefore, this cycle will continue. We’ll get back on track. We’ll have something I can call progress. We’ll have a set-back. I’ll go into a tailspin. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
Be gentle with myself. I wish I was tougher, I’m not. Accept it. Go behind the barn. Kick rocks. Be upset. Come back and try again. Give myself time.
Thank you for listening,