So I get nervous before my class at a horse show. So what? So I dissolve into a seething cauldron of stomach acid on the mounting block before a lesson. Why does this require calling in a professional [First Appointment]?
It is out of proportion. In my saddle seat lessons and show classes, I am required to walk, trot, & canter at controlled speeds around a flat, manicured arena. How is this cause for alarm? This is not bungee-jumping off the Kawarau Bridge.
It is growing. Since the early days, I’ve been nervous about getting on a new horse, with the inexplicable exception of Previous Horse [In Defense of Caesar]. Even the rock solid George [photo] caused me trepidation at the start. But I eventually got over it. I don’t seem to be getting over it lately, not even with St. Alvin [photos]. Nor are the shows getting easier.
It is limiting.
SSF. I suspect that there might be interesting opportunities available if I didn’t freeze like a startled possum at the idea of riding anyone other than an entry-level school horse.
Rodney & Milton. ‘Nuff said.
Jumping. Back in the summer I visited a barn to talk about jumping lessons. Between the hot weather & show schedules, we never found a time. Then came boot camp [Progress Report]. I didn’t want to the two styles to conflict, at least, anymore than they already did. Now, nationals is over. The 2015 show season is over. I’m stylistically free as a bird. Go jump something. Have a lesson or two. Hop over 2-foot fence. The very thought feels me with dread. Part of me says, Yes! Jump all the things! The other part says, oh. hell. no.
Sigh.
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#bloglikecrazy
Virtual Brush Box 
Thank you.
I think the key is the disconnection between what you think you want to do and the feeling you get thinking about the thing you think you want to do. Thinking you want to do something, but feeling unable to do it makes humans miserable.