Tailspin, How Art Thou?

It’s been a while since I had good, solid snit about Rodney’s current position in the universe. So, last week I had a long wallow in pointless angst. It was a shallow puddle, but lasted most of the week. Not sure if this is better or worse that the brief but bottomless chasms of despair.

A stint of Small Worldliness put me in the possible orbit of a Big Name Rider who knew Rodney in his previous, competitive life. The BNR was probably in the ring when the-horse-now-known-as-Rodney jumped 5’2″. I kept imagining the conversation when I tell him I bought the horse and then he asks me how the horse is doing. I don’t come off well in that exchange.

Why do I do have these internal conversations when they are neither fun nor productive? I have no idea. Nor do I see the habit stopping anytime soon.

I wrote this before Sunday’s horse shopping trip. Elapsed days or the expedition will have snapped me out of it by the time you read this. The problem with these bouts is that I get frustrated. When I get frustrated, I have less motivation to go out to the barn. When I’m frustrated, I have less patience with Rodney when I do get to the barn. Either way, no progress is made. And that frustrates me. Hello vicious circle. How I have not missed you.

%d bloggers like this: