Attending a Science Fiction Convention as an Alien In Disguise, Fiction

👽👽👽

Second Alien: My friend, you do not appear to be in balance.

First Alien: Alas, I am not. I was given a second chance and yet failed to deliver on the trust placed in me.

Second Alien: Do not fret yourself. All of us know that information gathering among humans is a difficult endeavor.

First Alien: You are overly kind. I know that my previous experience is used as an training example. [Attending a Science Fiction Convention with an Alien Disguise]

Second Alien: The lesson being taught is not about you. It is about how the unexpected can get a grip on us.

First Alien: Yes, well, I was the one the unexpected got a grip on. And now it happened again.

Second Alien: Perhaps you best recount the events. A journey of the mind can help restore order.

First Alien: Your presence alone is a balm to my disorder. Imagine my surprise when I was chosen to attend another assemblage of humans at a science fiction convention. The consensus was that my mistakes would aid me in enfolding the event this time around.

Second Alien: That did not happen, I take it?

First Alien: I fear another training exercise will be made. At first, I was pleased to have the chance. I even had what I thought was a brilliant idea. Instead of going in costume, I went as an author. Well, as an aspiring author. To support my facade, I wrote a novel. In human language! Having achieved that exercise, I went to events that catered to new writers. I would learn about human creativity.

Second Alien: I admire the effort in verisimilitude. Did it help?

First Alien: Not as much as I had hoped. Beyond a brief ‘What’s it about’, the plot of the story was not the main avenue of inquiry. No one wanted the clever details of my rising action in the second act.

Second Alien: I did not expect human to lack curiosity.

First Alien: Oh, they were plenty curious. The questions. So many questions. Did I have an agent? If not, was I looking for an agent? If I had an agent, how did I get one? Did have editor? How did I do it?

Second Alien: They did not want to talk about writing?

First Alien: Oh yes, they talked about writing. All about writing. Was was I plotter or a panster? Excuse me discoverer, that’s the new term, or gardener. I could hardly say that I entered my third mind and let the novel flow into a vial of glass. Tor.com: The “Plotter vs. Pantser” Writing Divide Has Been Exaggerated, Palmer 2022. [Plotter Pantser Y Not Both]

Second Alien: I remain interested. Please carry on.

First Alien: The first day was bad, but I tried to grow from it. The first night, I imagined being under the arch. After a while, I re-embodied the reason for my trip was to discover about humans, my discomfort was incidental and temporary. So I tried to reverse the questions. I was undecided on the issue. How did they feel about it? It worked for a while, but they still wanted to give me advice. They were so helpful. So very, very helpful. Did I realize that writing the book is just the first part? How was I planning to use social media? Did I want to come on their podcast? Who would be my ideal person to read the audio book? Was I considering doing it myself?

Second Alien: I applaud your willingness to refocus.

First Alien: Again, too kind. Again, it didn’t help. They know so much. So much detail. They would ask what genre. When I told them fantasy, they asked how I addressed the problem of Tolkien’s elves.

Second Alien: And that would be?

First Alien: Tolkien is a fellow who wrote a fantasy book longer ago that most of them have been alive, yet everyone still reads it. He is considered fundamental. Like Mount Fuji. It is either in the picture or you are standing on it. [The Ripples of the Rings, Pratchett]

Second Alien: Ah I see, one question. What is Mount Fuji?

👽👽👽