A Perfectly Normal Store, Fiction

Customer: Is this the magic store?

Clerk: No sir. This is the paper store.

Customer: Yeah, but you sell magic paper that corrects what you write.

Clerk: No, sir. That would be your laptop screen. May I show you our selection of handmade papers? Not magic, but quite nice.

Customer: Oh, I get it. This is a test. To see if I’m worthy.

Clerk: No, sir. No tests required. Only cash, credit card, or a phone app. We take do a check, if you want to go old school. Stationery is at the front of the store. Custom printing at the rear.

Customer (wanders around, returns to counter): Come on. I know it came from here. It was a green notebook with blue bits stuck into the cover. I saw a buddy of mine using it. The words changed after he wrote them.

Clerk: Sounds like pretty good slight of hand, sir. Our notebooks and journals are down this aisle. Pens down that aisle. We have a nice selection of green notebooks and pens with green ink.

Customer (picks out items, winks at clerk): I get it. This will look like a perfectly normal notebook, but will help me out just when I need it.

Clerk: Yes sir. As long as what you need is a way to take notes.

Customer brings items to counter.

Clerk: (rings up purchase, bags & hands over): Have a nice day, sir.

Customer leaves.

Clerk watches customer through the window until he is out of sight.

Clerk (yells toward rear of store): Who bought a Worrall codex with green cover and blue inlay?

Inaudible voice from back of store.

Clerk: Well, they are cut off for a year. They’ve been careless.

Afterword

The Hitchhiker’s Wiki: Perfectly Normal Beasts

I would have preferred to make the customer gender neutral. I could not come up with a substitute that had the same combination of distance & formality, particularly in a retail setting.

Onwards!
Katherine