100 Miles To Nowhere

Today we are competing in the Tour of the South, Coed 80/20 Division of the 100 of Nowhere Bike Race. We are shoo-ins to win.

The 100 Miles race of Nowhere Bike Race was created by The Fat Cyclist as a fundraiser for Camp Kasem. “a wonderful series of camps across the United States for children who’ve been affected by cancer. … In other words, you’re making a real and measurable difference in the lives of kids who could use stand to have some good, silly, carefree fun.” [FC registration post]

Fatty’s race: 2014 100 Miles of Nowhere: Winners of the Alpine, UT Men and Women’s Divisions
Fatty’s kids at camp: 2014 Camp Kesem Report: Guest Post from Carrie and Katie

The 100 Miles of Nowhere Bike Race is an honor system ride on a self-defined course. The sillier, the better. Divisions are also self-declared. This is why we are shoo-ins. Provided we finish. Eventually.

Given the rigorous nature of the race administration, we decided that it was in completely in keeping with the rules to split the miles between us. Husband has done 100-mile rides. Wife could not do 100 miles downhill with a following wind. Therefore, Wife will drag herself through four laps of 5 miles. Husband will cover the rest. Yes, he is 4 times the biker I am. Easily.

We are basing our loops out of the house. We predict the hardest part will be heaving our sorry carcasses of the couch for the the 4th time.

Updates to appear in this space. Starting approximately 7:30. Updating as each segment is finished: 1 hour+ for him, 30 min for her. (Update: all times CDT.)

The horses, already on break from my numerous saddle seat lessons this week, will snicker from the sidelines as we bike up & down the driveway. No one foresees heavy barn work tomorrow.

(Update the 2nd: The proper name is 100 Miles OF Nowhere. Therefore, the post title above is either a metaphysical commentary on the nature of the endeavor, or I got it wrong. Your choice.)

Time: 7:38 am
And he’s off …

Time: 8:50 am
Husband miles: 19.1
Wife miles: 0
Total miles: 19.1

Time: 9:30 am
Husband miles: 19.1
Wife miles: 5.83
Total miles: 24.93

Time: 10:42 am
Husband miles: 38.1
Wife miles: 5.83
Total miles: 43.93

Time: 11:20 am
Husband miles: 38.1
Wife miles: 11.52
Total miles: 49.62

Time: 12:35 am
Husband miles: 57.1
Wife miles: 11.52
Total miles: 68.72

Time: 1:14 am
Husband miles: 57.1
Wife miles: 17.21
Total miles: 74.31

Time: 2:38 am
Husband miles: 76.1
Wife miles: 17.21
Total miles: 93.31

Time: 3:21
Husband miles: 76.1
Wife miles: 24.06
Total miles: 100.16


Arthur 100m

Gratuitous finish line selfie with a purring but uninterested fan, who did absolutely no miles today.

10 thoughts on “100 Miles To Nowhere

  1. Better you than me, girl! Does your bike have a handlebar basket? If so, then I expect to see some gratuitous hitchhiker kitty pics!

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