When You Can’t Go, Muse and the Alaska Made For TV Movie, Fiction

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Writer: Hello, Muse. I cannot overSTATE how happy I am to be with you once again.

Muse: Hello?

Writer: I would be devaSTATEd if we could not share this time together.

Muse: Do you have something to tell me? Are you trying to make a STATEment?

Writer (chuckles): Sometimes I amuse even myself. Anyway. The powers that be have decided to make 50 TV movies, one for each state. I have been assigned Alaska and Hawaii.

Muse: Do you get to go?

Writer: No. That’s my problem. How do I create a legit mood for a place I’ve never been?

Muse: Plus, you have an entire state full of people ready to tell you where you went wrong.

Writer: Thanks for closed captioning my pain, Raj. [BBT]

Muse: No need to be snarky.

Writer: Au contraire, I think this is the perfect time to be snarky. TV shows set in Alaska are all about snow and big mountains and living off the grid and subsistence hunting. Books are full of people moving in Alaska from elsewhere or reclaiming their native heritage. Did you know that, “Alaska has the highest relative population of Native Americans, who make up 19.74% of the state’s total population, about 145,816 people.” [US Census]

Muse: Interesting, but not relevant.

Writer: Of course its relevant. I am none of those things. I can’t go to get a feel for living there. I have to rely on the reports and photos of others. It a short walk to trope city.

Muse: So, do something different.

Writer: This is my blank stare.

Muse: Lean into it.

Writer: What?

Muse: Make the problem a feature rather than a bug.

Writer: Yes, yes. I understand the concept. I don’t understand how to apply it here. Not knowing about your subject is a pretty big bug.

Muse: You say a lot of the media is about the extremes of Alaska.

Writer: Well, yes, that’s what makes it Alaska.

Muse: Really? Everyone in the state lives in an isolated cabin and snowmobiles to the nearest town once a month?

Writer: Well, no.

Muse: No one there has a life that would be recognizable to someone from another state?

Writer: Of course not. People live in cities and work in factories. So?

Muse: Do I have to spoonfeed it to you?

Writer: I thought that was your purpose, to give ideas.

Muse: A muse inspires. We do not do the work for you.

Writer: I don’t see a much inspiration happening.

Muse: I can leave.

Writer: No! Please don’t. I’m sorry. I’m frustrated. I shouldn’t take it out on you.

Muse: Think about it on a human scale. For example, what would your brother’s life look like if he lived there?

Writer: He’d have favorite coffeeshop on this way to work. Do something impenetrable with numbers. Have meetings. Hang with friends.

Muse: Exactly.

Writer: I get it. Wherever you go, there you are.

Muse: People are people, regardless of the scenery.

Writer: Hmm. A human story that shows it doesn’t matter where you live. That would work for any state. I could make the stories interrelated. Carry the theme across several movies. Ooh, that will play well in a presentation.

Muse: And make a good story.

Writer: That too, but first I have to get the treatment approved. Buzzwords are your friend.

Muse: Cynical.

Writer: But not wrong.

Muse: Back to the story.

Writer: It could be a new arrival, one who never settles in. Detective Inspector Richard Poole from Death In Paradise.

Muse: Not bad. I sense hesitation.

Writer: It’s still about the place, in that case how he never fits in, and is always wearing suits in the Caribbean and complaining about the heat. In some ways it’s still very much about the setting.

Muse: Instead?

Writer: I think it would be better with characters who live in the place. Who accept the place. For whom Alaska is anodyne. (Typing noises.)

Muse: (smiles)

Writer: I can work with this. Thank you, Muse. Sorry I was grumpy.

Muse: It’s okay. It means you care.

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Afterword

Inspiration. Currently ettending UChicago Graham School, Alaska: Indigenous, Russian, American.

Onwards!
Katherine