Watcher On The Beach, Fiction

Watcher On The Beach

Many: You want to take what form?

One: A crab.

Many: You think the best way to spy on humans is a spider of the sea?

One: 10.

Many: What?

One: 10 legs. A spider has 8 legs. A crab has 10 legs.

Many: At least that is getting closer to a decent number of appendages. Still doesn’t answer our question. Why?

One: As a crab, I will be on the beach. Humans will be as close to naked as socially acceptable. I can examine physiology without the interference of clothing.

Many: Hmm.

One: During the day I can track movement dynamics. At night, I can listen to them talk when they look out at the ocean and wax philosophical.

Many: Humans will be on vacation. They will not be performing their social functions. How will you gather that data?

One: The humans being on vacation is part of the plan. They delude themselves into thinking they will get work done. So, they bring along laptops and folders and management directives. Then they dump everything in a corner and never look at it. I’ll be able to crawl all over everything.

Many: What if they see you?

One: No problem. A mouse in your office is cause for alarm. A crab in your beach rental is a cute story.

Many: Don’t people eat crabs?

One: At restaurants. Besides, crabs can scuttle pretty fast.

Many: What name will this form carry?

One: Buster.

Many: The movie star?

One: No, the Muppet.

~~ fin ~~~

100 word bio

For the requited bio, I introduced myself as “a mostly retired journalist who is sidling, crab-wise, into fiction.”

~~~

Afterword

Submitted, not accepted, for issue 1 of Crab Tales Magazine. Requirements were crabs and a element of the fantastic, in 250 words or less. CTM: Submissions. Watcher comes in at 249 words.

While doing research for this, I found The Crab Museum, Europe’s first and only museum dedicated to the world of the decapod & Hermit Crab fiction, “Hermit-crab stories are stories made from found verbal structures such as a shopping list or board game rules or FAQs or even a penalty charge notice.” Medium: Hermit-Crab Fictions: Fresh Stories from Borrowed Forms, Brotzel 2020.

Thought on technique. Outside observers is a handy narrative device. In reality, if one goes by human history, first contact does not go well for one of the parties.

Hat tip to L. We shall dine on the proceeds! No proceeds, but lunch is on me anyway.

Onwards!
Katherine